Repeat

Disappointment feels like a deep dark well from time to time. You fall right into it. Terribly hurt yourself. Feels like -metaphor inside a metaphor if you permit- breaking every single bone you have in that mindless body of yours. But then again, it's all your- it's all my fault in the first place, isn't it? One never learns I guess. At least I never do. I let myself dream and end up in pitch black every time. Never really letting to hit rock bottom. That would be a dream killer, wouldn't it? What am I if I cease to dream? Do I dream the wrong dream? Are there right and wrong dreams? I bet society has something to say about this, like... yes. The hell with society. It's a simple loop. You dare to dream and you tumble about a disturbing, frustrating darkness. Particularly frustrating since you know it's not the last time you see it. Or not. You can't see darkness, technically. You sense it and this sounds even more frustrating. Are there really people who can dream the right dreams, having a huge tick mark on them and everything? I'm neither good with society nor with tick marks but this feeling gets a little suffocating sometimes. It gets so hard to breath that I want to sleep even harder so I can ignore, totally forget about the damn feeling. But there is no such sleep, no. Reality is a stalker. What is real anyway? What is it but our tristesse, despair and unfillable void that we strive to repress so feverishly? Never mind. It's in your job description. Dream on. Fall down. Hit the pitch black well ground. Soft enough to dream again, hard enough to hate it all for a while. And repeat.